Hello love,
My partner and I just came home from a morning drive. We have this ritual of going for a walk with our coffees every morning, but this morning it was pouring down so we decided to go for a drive instead, and just talk. While I absolutely love being here in New Zealand, and I made the right decision moving here to be with my love, it doesn’t mean it isn’t challenging. Moving halfway across the world is hard. Yes, it’s exciting, fun and about a million other things, but it is also hard. It takes time to assimilate. I sometimes miss my family and friends. I miss just having a person I can meet up with for coffee or go for a walk with.
While it is exciting moving to a new place (and country) it comes with its own set of challenges. Visa rules, driving on the other side of the road, finding my way around, creating a home, finding new friends, meeting tons of new people… It is both hard and exciting. I’ve realized that I can both love something and feel that it is sometimes hard. That is okay, and how I’m feeling is normal.
On top of this I have a strong desire to fit in here. I want my partner’s friends and family to like me. Especially, given that my family and friends are so far away. It is so important to me that his family and friends all like me. However, what I realized is that I was still holding the belief that I am not enough. I must change in order to fit in.
This is what we spent most on our morning drive in the rain talking about. I love how I can share and talk to my partner about literally anything and everything. Because I’ve always had this feeling that I was never quite enough and I needed to change in order to fit in, subconsciously this is what I “thought” I had to do here too. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect instead of just being my authentic self.
Luckily, I have a very observant, supportive and loving partner who keeps telling me to just be myself and that I am enough. While driving I think it finally hit home. I actually heard him. I am enough, and I can just be myself. The person who loves writing, classical music, rainy days, journaling, writing, traveling, is very spiritual, loves art, history, museums, culture, shopping, reading, learning languages… I don’t have to be anyone else or try to fit in by pretending to be someone I’m not. I can just be myself, and I’m actually a pretty awesome person.
I am so grateful to have a boyfriend who just loves me for who I am, and who supports me through thick and thin. Who I can lean on and who I can just be fully myself with. He is my rock. Thank you, babe. For always being there for me and always telling me to just be my authentic self.
But the reason why I’m even sharing this story is because I think many of us struggle with these limiting beliefs about ourselves. We think that we must change in order to fit in. That we are never quite enough just as we are.
So, I’m here to tell you that you are enough. You are a million times enough. You are worthy of everything you dream of. And most importantly, you do not have to change who you are to fit in. Be yourself. Be your weird, awkward, brilliant, amazing, geeky self. Embrace who you are. Be proud of who you are. You have come such a long way, and you are more than enough and you are made perfect. Yes, keep evolving, growing and getting outside your comfort zone. But know that you are perfect exactly as you are. In the eyes of God you are already perfect and enough. Don’t try to change to fit in. Be yourself. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea just like everyone won’t be your cup of tea. That’s okay. Because the right people will stay. You will fit in with the right people. Even if those people are completely different than you. The right people will accept you for who you are.
So, my dearest, be yourself. Embrace who you are. And remember, that you are made perfect in the eyes of God.
Love,
Heidi
