Yesterday, I signed up for Aligned Coaching with my dear coach, Paige Schmidt. I’ve been working with Paige for years, and I love my private coaching calls with her. Ever since she launched Aligned a couple of years ago I have been wanting to join, but fear has always stopped me. However, Paige has gently and kindly been nudging me lately to join Aligned, and I have to admit that the timing couldn’t be better. I just moved to New Zealand, I have the financial means to do it, and I think I’ll be as ready as I’ll ever be.
So, yesterday I bravely signed up for Aligned, and last night I listened to the Coffee Connection for October. I took away So many take aways from that call. Let me share some of the take aways I wrote down:
- Take the risk before you are ready/say yes before you are ready
- Take the scenic route
- I believe and take actions at the same time
- Things will work out and fall into place once I start taking actions
Today, though, I specifically want to talk about taking the risk/saying yes before you are ready as this is something that has felt VERY true for me the last year and a half.
I used to always be so fearful and afraid to do anything. I never pursued my dreams, goals or anything else. Everything felt so scary, scary, scary. Mind you, I still feel fear but I’m trying to no longer let that hold me back. Let me share some of the biggest things I’ve said yes to in the last year and a half that scared me deeply, yet I still did them.
- Starting my own business
- Deciding to terminate my lease on my apartment, sell my car and go traveling
- Moving to New Zealand to be with my boyfriend (he’s from New Zealand)
- Starting a newsletter (it would mean the world to me if you would sign up)
- Driving in New Zealand (I’ll come back to this in a moment)
- Saying yes to a romantic relationship (with said boyfriend from NZ)
- Joining Aligned Coaching with my coach
- Saying yes to evolving and growing my business
Naturally, there are many other things I’ve said yes to despite being scared, but these are probably some of the biggest things. That’s why this take away stuck out so much to me.
I have been talking about starting a business for years and years. I’ve been talking about traveling the world for years. I’ve been talking about doing a lot of things for a lot of years, but fear has always stopped me in the past. I don’t know exactly what changed last year. I think perhaps I finally got bored and tired of my own BS. It had probably always been very boring to everyone around me, but I was constantly feeding my own fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others would think. Fear of running out of money. So many fears…
When I started my own business I was scared. When I decided to go traveling I was scared. When I decided to move to New Zealand I was REALLY scared. However, if I have learned anything it is that fear will always be there. Fear will never go away. I will never be fully read. I don’t think one ever feels ready to start their own business, move halfway across the world or show their face on Instagram. Well, perhaps a few people, but I’m not one of those people.
This morning it came back to me again. I finally got on the policy for my boyfriend’s car which means I can now drive here in New Zealand. You might think what’s the big deal? Well, they drive on the left side on the road here. I have never in my life been driving on the left side of the road, and trust me when I say, I did NOT want to do it. Unfortunately, there are no buses, trains or subways here so I had two choices: Get over it my fear and start driving or be stuck in the house. Forever.
Right after getting on the policy this morning my boyfriend (who is much less fearful than me) thought we should immediately go for a drive and get him a coffee. Now, me being me, I did not want to do this. I came up with several excuses: my cinnamon raisin bagel would get cold, I was not mentally prepared…. Lame excuses, I know. But what’s a girl to do? However, my boyfriend is generally not one for excuses, and then I remembered what Paige had said yesterday: say yes before you are ready.
Truth be told I probably would have never felt ready to drive on the left side of the road so waiting wouldn’t help me. I knew that sooner or later I would just have to do it even though I would be fearful. And so I got into the car and got over my fear. And guess what? We survived. He definitely needs to go with me the first many times (I kept looking to the right when I should look to the left), the blinkers are on the opposite time so I forgot to signal a couple a times and there were a few times where my instinct was to be on the right side of the road. But we survived and so did everyone else in traffic, so all in all it was a pretty good start.
The same story could be told for my business. It was hard at first, and there are certainly still times where it is really hard having my own business but overall it is amazing, and I love it. I have flexibility and freedom, and my business is far more successful than I thought it would be.
Same with my newsletter. I’ve been talking about starting a newsletter forever and ever but I was always too scared. What if nobody will sign up? What if nobody reads it? What will people think? What if I do something wrong? How do I even start a newsletter? So, one day my boyfriend agreed to sit down with me, and we made a plan, and well, not my first newsletter will be sent out on Friday.
I’ve already told the story of why I moved to New Zealand, but trust me when I say that I said yes before I was ready. As I said, I don’t think anybody ever feels truly ready to move halfway across the world. However, my intuition was telling me to move here, and I wanted to be with my boyfriend, and I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand, and I just had a feeling that I would absolutely love it here (which I do). But that didn’t mean it didn’t feel a bit scary moving here, and the first two weeks were challenging but now it honestly feels like home here. I love the country so much, I love the people, my business is flourishing, and I can be my authentic self.
So, I invite and encourage you to say yes before you are ready. So often we let fear stop us. Sometimes fear is even dressed up as logical excuses but at the end of the day it’s still just fear. Fear can also be dressed up as perfectionism, but it’s still just fear. Fear will always be present. I highly doubt fear will ever leave, and that is okay. It’s not about getting rid of fear. It’s about finding the courage to do it despite the fear. It’s about not allowing fear to take the driver’s seat. Feel the fear and do it anyway.